I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.