but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm