Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!