i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.