She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
