i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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