can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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