I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
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Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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