upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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