Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
