I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
