as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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