Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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