White coat. Heels.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
