What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
