just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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