i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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