I'm going to jail i love you
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
