Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?