cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.