I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.