he shaved USA in his pubs
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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