Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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