My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
did i just pee glitter