I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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