Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
