grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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