i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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