Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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