i already hear my dad disowning me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…