I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character