How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.