Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked