R you on birth control?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.