I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
