Little spoons don't ask big questions
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
