so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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