In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
