well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
