Buhtt sex?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
