what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize