wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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