Just cropdusted the office
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize