It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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