please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
