Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon