I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
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I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals