I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.