Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.