so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter