wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
