how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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