My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Someone shit on the floor
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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