I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
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I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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