stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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