i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
