Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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