I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
