This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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