Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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