I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
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i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
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Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.