Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend