so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human