The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."