why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
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You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way