:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you