Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...