i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night