Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.