He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.