I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
