she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's just like the Real World with babies
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW