I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground