Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day